Friday, January 29, 2010

Hello, (Wolf) Moon

What an awesome full moon! I noticed it on my way home from the farm this evening though I couldn't stop in the traffic for a photograph, so this shot is later from the deck. It's overcast now. It wasn't earlier, and I could barely believe how beautiful she was! Here's an interesting description of the whys and wherefores of the beautiful Wolf Moon.
In the meantime, I want to comment on serendipity, nostalgia, regret and faith. They don't seem to be related, do they? But they are. I read a quote by Elisabeth Kubler Ross somewhere today, stating her belief that "there are no coincidences". I agree with her, but then I always have. You just have to accept the messages that are placed before you, if you can.
In the past year, I've been revisited by so many old friends, or messages from old friends, from across the decades. One way or another, via Facebook, email,, sheer coincidence or decades-late third-party communication, I'm suddenly reconnecting with those people that formed my reality. It's shocking, painful, and wonderful. So here's the dilemma: I'm facing an existential crisis. What I believed to be truth was actually my ill-informed, one-sided interpretation of truth. In the real world, how many wars were fought because of this type of miscommunication? How many lives lost? How many loves? Can we ever really know what's true, at the moment the truth that forms our reality occurs? There are so many sides to any given story. People withhold and manipulate the truth for their own (misguided) reasons, which shapes our subjective, individual "realities". Sometimes, they think they're doing what's right; sometimes, not.
In my life, time has passed, and life has evolved. And here's where I find solace: those things that were devastating and painful have resulted in growth and strength. They've given me my family, my present life, my mindset. What I do regret is my ignorance, and the pain it may have caused others. I will make that right, if I can; but can we ever really know what's true? What's true to everyone...those left behind, those that are present, and ourselves? Life is dynamic; only small parts of our souls get stuck, and those are the parts that we revisit. The parts we need to heal. If only we could know each others' hearts. And cause no harm.
I've been trying to live in the moment, to savor my experiences as they occur. I've been trying to accept the unraveling of time and the progression of events, and believe that there is direction to them. And you know, I do believe that. Time is so precious. I want to fix those things that have been broken...through life circumstances, through misunderstanding, through inadequacy. I forgive those that hurt me. I do. And I apologize to those that I may have hurt. It was never intentional; we look back, and see through different eyes. If I find you, I'll tell you myself. Don't get stuck there. Fill up on the positive. Move forward.
In this last year, I've met new people who live on faith. All different forms of faith. One family has a traditional monotheistic faith. They lost everything they own, and give thanks for their lives. They're happy; they move on. Another friend lives on hope and dreams. She asks her higher power for help and accepts the answers she gets, then moves forward, whether they're the answers she expected or not. She lives in service to others. The third friend doesn't speak of any religion or system of faith, but lives without desire or possessions, and serves as a lesson to others through his simplicity. These are the serendipitous friends that have come into my life this year, in the year I've also reconnected with so many older acquaintances; so many old memories.
There are no coincidences. We're here to learn.

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