I've been struggling a little this week. Early in the week, Peter brought up the Christmas decorations, but we've both been so busy after work each day that we only completed the tree and a few indoor decorations last night. It does feel good to see it there again, though; it made the cold wind blowing through my coat a little more bearable as I pumped gas on the way home tonight. The thought of a warm cup of soup, a blanket on my lap and the Christmas tree lights warmed me from the inside-out. I need that comfort tonight. I'm hurting.
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Ever since I was a small child, I have periodically been plagued by fever blisters, and I woke up with the nerve pain that signals one yesterday morning. This prodromal pain can be oppressive; this time I almost feel like I have the flu, though without the "cold-like" symptoms. Headache, nerve pain, swollen lymph nodes...I just feel sick and miserable. And to top it off, I have a large group of blisters forming smack in the middle of my cheek. Why? I dunno. I'm not sick otherwise. Stress? Maybe. Changed diet? Maybe. To keep me humble? Most likely. The stress is unavoidable in my profession, and the diet change is for the best, so I'm keeping it. As for staying humble: I can always use a reminder. As always, I'll just have to deal with it.
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I'm 52. I've had this for 48 years. And I'm pretty tired of it. Parents: don't kiss your kids when you have an outbreak. Quarantine yourself. Herpes (even type 1 like I have, the non-STD one) is the gift that truly keeps on giving. This one outlasted my dad, who most likely gave it to me with an innocent kiss in 1961. He had no idea. And he most likely got it the same way, back before parents knew it was a virus.
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Are we simply multi-generational vehicles for ever-changing, eternal viruses that find their warm and comfortable homes in our bloodstreams like microscopic vampires? They're strong and insidious little "suckers". Sometimes I think the viruses are winning; at any rate, tonight with a headache, swollen glands and a face that feels like it's on fire, the score is as follows: Virus:1. Me:0.
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