We just returned from a wonderful week away; in our defense, this week was planned 7 months ago, and paid for last year, a "use it or lose it" situation.
Why do we need to defend a vacation, you ask?
I've been holding out on you. Unless you happen to know me face to face, in the flesh (except for my mom, who I'll have to confess to next time I see her). My apologies if you read this first, mom.
My dear husband, who was (yes WAS) employed by Lehigh University, has become another statistic of the recession. The grant that funded his position was cut, and we have become a single income family. Sort-of; he will collect unemployment for awhile, and is eligible for Social Security. This came as something of a shock, and trooper that he is, he vowed to get out there and win that bread, etc., but the fact is, he's 62. The 28 year old would get the job, if there WAS a job. Time to slow down, regroup, and see where life leads us.
It's been leading ME back to the earth.
It's frightening...and exciting...and a challenge, and liberating, and limiting; kind of like that first step into the world of adulthood, but in reverse. We know how it works now...we just don't know what our limitations will be.
Our vacation was bittersweet.
Will we stay in this house? I don't know. Will he actually, really and truly retire? I don't know.
After a few weeks of stomach churning anxiety, I've decided to give up my fears to the Powers-That-Be. What will be, will be.
I'm still working. That's what I know.
We've had our moments lately; but we had 10 good years, and we have each other and the skills of our minds and the compassion in our hearts, and we will move on...
to the next phase.
Wherever it leads us.
We have a tentative plan...but that story will have to wait.
I think it might turn out to be a good one.